Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
