Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
