dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
