Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
