No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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