two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
