Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
