So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
