We're like a lot better than the average bears
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
