You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
