i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
