you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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