in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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