Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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