SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
