"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
