The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
