Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
