You made me cry and you don't even care
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
