I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
