did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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