She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
