he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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