singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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