Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
