ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I cannot find my penis.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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