Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
