just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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