@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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