i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
