I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
