How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
