I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
