My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
