And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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