Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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