is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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