Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
