my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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