She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
