apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
