I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
