i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
