Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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