i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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