I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
