I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I looked at my own cervix.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
