Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
