i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
