But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
