if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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