When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I skipped work to stalk him.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
